Imposter Syndrome

 As a person who has made an effort to study Vedanta I have found it extremely hard to put Vedanta into practice at all times. The equanimity required in the face adversity of any kind is difficult to attain and but all efforts in this direction will gradually and imperceptibly find fruit. The topic of this blog arises based on the fact that new situations and challenges in the face of the rapidly changing surroundings can make the mind play tricks. 

At many stages in life especially in mine I have faced doubts in my abilities to tread a path which is different from the routine. This was so when I was given the job to head an over 100 year hospital, without any previous experience. Human beings are creatures of habit who like predictability and reasonable order but this is not the case and my generation needs to constantly reinvent itself. I distinctly remember that in 1975 when I joined Science college I was introduced to a book by Alvin Toffler called Future Shock, which professed that the rapidity with which the world is changing can destabilize and shock human beings. Power shift, Future Shock and third wave constitute the trilogy of books alluding to this scenario. 

However the change we see in our life is even more rapid than imagined in this not so long ago written trilogy of books. 

So is it any surprise that in the competitive world, the fear of failure leads to a lack of confidence and what is known as the "Imposter Syndrome". Paradoxically, imposter means a person who claims powers and knowledge which he or she actually does not possess in order to deceive and create a false identity. 

So when one finds oneself in a position  in which a task is thrust on him or her which is difficult to avoid, one is forced to create an impression of false confidence. In such a case the fear of being caught and being branded an imposter makes that person back out from the task ahead. The cruel irony of this that more often than not one has the qualities and experience to do the job but being used to an attitude of wanting to be perfect or having a fear that one is not an expert and one may miss a trick or two leads one to suffer from "imposter syndrome". It can also happen that one's ego prevents one from asking for help. 

The most important common underlying theme is one of a nagging fear of being found out to be not good enough at best and a fraud or imposter at worst. 

In my experience, this attitude comes from one's training and in medical college, the students from institutions with cut throat competition where one's colleagues are constantly in a race to pull each other down, this problem is very prevalent. On the other side of the spectrum are students from low ranked average institutions where the students are used to bluff their way and show a false confidence and bravado. Practical common sense and sense of adventure is seen in such cases and it is found that such students become more creative and show an ability to innovate and prosper. My take on this is that the female gender is also more likely to suffer from this on account of years of suppression and denial of opportunity. The chances of having a fear of failure in a male dominated world, makes women who although are willing to work doubly hard and be determined to succeed still back out due to this fear. On the other hand men over promise performance and bluff their way to success. They know that despite the risk of failure, the world is less cruel to men than women. 

So is there a solution? The answer is a yes but not an exactly fool proof one. One must therefore strike a balance and not overthink in such difficult situations. Remembering the old saying "perfection is the enemy of progress" can also help one overcome the imposter syndrome. Control over the monkey mind, meditation and use of a mantram can also be of great value. One has to practice detachment and not be affected by what others think but stay on the path like a steady "stithpragya" translated as equanimity. 

As I speak today, I do feel I suffer from imposter syndrome and the need to seek validation as I embark on newer roles in life. There are books to overcome this and I hope I can catch hold of one or seek help from friends and colleagues to overcome this. 

 

Vispi Jokhi