Laughing at oneself Why is it becoming so rare?

We are living in an age of social media and public glare. Here projection and packaging counts more than reality and content. Our self worth is measured by the likes we get and the followers we get. To ensue we beat the algorithm we are told to use keywords and SEO (Search Engine Optimization) as though that is the real end rather than a means to communicate and get recognition. I do not know why and when a tool like the internet which began as a convenient window to the world for us to see and experience it through the eyes of others turned back the gaze on to us to provide data to the world. The design of algorithms tracked our searching history and in split second fed material which would hack our minds. These in turn pushed further feeds to us which prompted us to take decisions which are commercially beneficial to the owners of the data. 

Today the constant glare of the black screen staring at us pressurizes us to unleash a wave of approval and disapproval. This caters to the lowest common denominator and can fawn nothing but anger. My generation which spent our childhood in the sixties, seventies and eighties had a limited world view and in the times of scarcity made more human connections than digital ones. We had time for reflection and time for leisure and boredom. The moments of fun came not from manufactured contrived jokes but spontaneous fun. We learnt to laugh at ourselves and among friends we could freely laugh and crack jokes without being too worried about being right all the time. The Parsi community had very funny phrases and the number of bad words in sentence were so many that those unaccustomed to them would wonder how friendships endure such abuse. I feel a similar quality of friendship exists among medical doctors batches of friends and somehow when medical friends meet at reunions or even simply over a meal the conversations become suffused with warmth and affection. But more often the main ingredients are the laughter at oneself that takes over. However mature and old we become fun and memories of the times gone by when we were vulnerable and fumbling in life makes us laugh at ourselves. 

However, suddenly I am aware that in my mid sixties as I grow older and dare say wiser my argumentative combative side is there but I don’t have the energy to fight what seems to be a losing battle. I feel the algorithm of social media and its insane feed has made me a cynical person. Even though I am not always comfortable with shallow conversations I find tribalism even worse. The tendency to take extreme positions and justify them creates more enemies than friends. 

Today laughter sarcasm wit and repartee have become rare and almost nonexistent. I think we need to revive this and cultivate it in our daily lives. The writing styles of authors of the past Behram Contractor known to my generation as Busybee, late Khushwant Singh and in the present generation Bachi Karkaria are examples of such writing. They could criticise and make their point without offending others. Even the cartoons of R.K. Laxman and Mario Miranda had such a lot of meaning and conveyed a lot more than large articles. 

Parsi Bol a book of humorous Parsi quotes collected make for delicious reading. Referring to death “Even to foto frame thay Gaya” (he has become a photo on the wall framed forever) or “Kolmi thay Gaya” (cold storage prawn) or “wicket pari gaye”(fall of wicket) . Promiscuous male is like “Even nu toh naadu dhilu che”(ever ready to drop his pyjamas). Slender well endowed girl is called “Patla Amba par motti kairee” (thin girl with big breasts). A couple with one partner who is fair and other dark complexion is called “chokhani rotli per levto”(on a white rice chappati a black fish called levto). And forever the kids are "maro nallo" Then the useless guy is a person that "bhujelo papad nahi bhangi sake" one who cannot even break a roasted papad. A miffed jealous person is described as one whose "Dal buree gayi" (cooked dal got burnt). Then the famous quote "Ghotala ma Gosh" (messed up situation) of any kind. When asked to pass on the onion salad the remark is "je khai kando te kadhi na pade mando" (one who eats onion will never fall ill or "je khai kando te bane gando" (one who eats onion will turn out mad). Poor health is described as a brittle " Karakari biscuit" 

We were able to watch yes Minister and marvel at the wit sarcasm and humour and the ability to use language effectively without abuse. In medical college we used terms like Bong, Motu, Bawa, Kekdakhoa, Surd, Kunjabihari, Gujju, Tiger, Butcher, HBKK(hero banene ki kosish) Kaala Pather, Shabbir miya, Bindok, and Father for friends and there was no offence taken or meant. But today we are sensitive and even a small scratch results in anaphylactic reactions. 

Can we bring humour back and become the care free friends in the autumn of our lives or carry hatred, enmity and outrage. The Law of Karma is maybe making us react like cats let loose on a hot tin roof. But if we want to overcome the same humour and the ability to laugh at oneself must come back sooner rather than later. 

Vispi Jokhi