What is Purpose Of My Existence???

The purpose of existence statement is something one can write at any point in one's life but we seldom get around to even  think about it and rarely write about it. 

At the present stage of my life, if I were to answer this in one sentence the answer would be as follows. My purpose of existence is encapsulated in a verse in the Kathaupanishad. 

In the secret cave of the heart, two are Seated by life’s fountain. 

The separate ego drinks of the sweet and bitter stuff, liking the sweet, disliking the bitter, while the supreme Self drinks sweet and bitter neither liking this nor disliking that.

The ego gropes in darkness, while the Self lives in light. So declare the illumined sages, and the householders who worship the sacred fire in the name of the Lord. 

May we light the fire of Nachiketa that burns out the ego, and enables us to pass from fearful fragmentation to fearless fullness in the changeless whole.

This verse is from a passage called Razor's Edge signifying the difficulties of walking the Path of Self Realization. 

So getting rid of the ego and achieving Self Realization is the purpose of my existence. Is this a borrowed purpose or am I working towards this taking steps in that direction. Since reaching this goal seems far and unachievable, I will share the steps I am taking towards this goal. 

Fundamentally we live in a world which is predominantly caught in the mundane routine of life and most of us are entangled in the routine seem to chase happiness in the form of instant gratification. At the level of the body we are encouraged to go after our desires and fulfill them in terms of everything we do daily. We choose junk food over healthy food, sleep over exercise, pulp fiction over scripture reading etc. This leads to at the level of the mind agitation and duality dictated by likes and dislikes, joy and sorrows, victory and defeat. This means we are quickly elated by good fortune and depressed by bad. At the level of intellect we become egoistical and this leads to trying to thrust our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes on others. This leads to divisions, fanaticism and wars among individuals, sects, castes, religious groups and nations. This is what is meant by fearful fragmentation in the Kathaupanishad passage quoted above. 

Over a period and with a long practice of meditation I have gradually started realizing the futility of living in this manner and strived to change this. In the past as a man with scientific training I thought that everything can be explained by scientific evidence. Modern world in it's arrogance rejected the presence of a superior creature. The God which was thrust on us in the name of organized religion of rituals and meaningless prayers held no appeal for me. A external God who was outside of me and who meted out reward and punishment was not able to explain the reason for good things happening to bad people and bad things happening to good persons. The world is very complex and living a mundane routine existence based on shallow mimetic desires seemed a waste of time and energy. We need to focus on our thick desires which means the ones which resonate with the purpose of our existence. 

In the last few years study of Vedanta under Guru Swami A. Parthasarty https://www.vedantaworld.org/ along with the practice of Passage Meditation and 8 point program of spiritual development by famous Late Eknath Easwaran have been my support system in this quest for finding purpose of  Existence. 

All of us believe in the three states of Consciousness. Waking, Dreaming and Deep Sleep which seem to be real at any given time depending on the spiritual level of existence. However, our daily experience negates this statement as none of these three states get carried forward from one state to another. The waker in his dream state is a totally different person and in the deep sleep state there is no resemblance to both waker and dreamer. But in all these three states there is a fourth state which is the Divine Self or Atman or God who is the Real Self which pervades all the states of Consciousness. In meditation we get fleeting awareness of this and by using various tools in the day while we interact with the world we try to bring into play this consciousness. Again for us to do this consistently we need to have a step by step approach.

1. Passage Meditation: Meditation on the breath on a candle or an object or even Om is rather difficult as our minds find it difficult to stay on one aspect or two aspects of a phenomenon. concentrating on words in a passage which has a deep meaning helps to focus on a course of action to achieve a higher purpose of existence. My experience is that having put some beautiful thought in a fresh mind, brings them to play in our daily life in moments of pleasure and pain. 
2. Mantra Repetition: is like an emergency spiritual anchor or a break to prevent one from acting impulsively and transform negativity to positivity. 
3. Slowing down: deals with the busyness syndrome where we are constantly running after material success as though there is no tomorrow. This results in wasteful, incessant, inefficient activity with poorer outcomes than slow deliberate activity which are the result of consistent concentration. 
4. One pointed Attention: is a call against multi-tasking. This is actually the first step in the direction of meditation. Do one thing at a time working in the present without worry of the past and anxiety for the future. One pointed attention is the most important tool to make you a Listener before speaking. 
5. Restraining the Senses: should not be equated to just living as an ascetic in the caves or mountains but living amidst the world like a tortoise who at the first sign of danger draws in his limbs. Dangers like loud music, junk food, addicting binge watching of TV, Gaming etc. are to be avoided or reduced to a minimum. We should when facing distractions and addictions withdraw from them and remain equipoised in all the ups and downs of life. 
6. Putting others before self: This is the anchor of all relationships as nothing can give us more joy than working for the welfare of others instead of selfishly working for oneself. All of nature teaches us this lesson and by putting others before self we are simply being grateful for all that we have received in this life and in future. 
7. Spiritual Fellowship: means association with persons inclined to lead a spiritual life dedicated  to Self Realization. Such company rubs off on each other and makes ones shared experiences real. Self Realization path is like a razors's edge and help of any kind is always welcome. 
8. Reading Scriptures: is a very vital point, however reading deeply and reflecting and imbibing the universal message from all scriptures has played a crucial role in Self Realization. One has to do this in a structured manner and seek the help of a good teacher. Questioning the teacher and clearing ones doubts helps bring clarity of thought and is a  great aid to find the purpose of Existence. 

Disclaimer: The purpose of Existence can be different for different persons and each one can find his purpose. However, in the final analysis we need to look inwards and find God or Self within. and in turn see divinity in all creation. A state of Perennial joy vs Passing Pleasure is the choice we make. The earlier we learn to make this choice the sooner we can reach to goal of life to realize the Self within us. 

Vispi Jokhi