Medical Friendships transcend borders? Reunions WhatApp or Real??

 Today I seek to write about a subject which has been an enigma for me. Medical College friendships is my blog subject.I think our evolution in life from childhood, adolescence and adulthood is an expansion of one's horizons from a small relatively stable circle of similar persons to a larger and diverse circle. While we have school and college friends and the circle is sought to be preserved through alumni circles and such organizations, they have certainly not lasted. This may be on account of us living insular protected lives under the gaze of parents who tended to ensure that we sought the company of literally people like us and if there was diversity it was stifled by selection bias as most schools were chosen by our parents and collated to ensure that exposure to unwanted and perceived harmful influences was avoided. If chance led us to a different personality or type, it was described as an aberration and there was a kind of adult intervention to nip in the bud any different association. Still as a child I remember some names and acquaintances from the days I spent in two schools. These friends remain names and distant faded memories and I am not in any touch with them except for a few who continued association in Medical College. It is indeed a remarkable thing that my childhood school alma maters are still in close proximity to my work place in Byculla, Mazagaon today and to my residence in Dadar. St. Mary's SSC section and Don Bosco Matunga boys school are the schools I attended from 1965 to 1977. In fact my memories of the schools related more to my boyhood crush on certain teachers who I still have dreams of. To name a few Ms Rego Std I , Ms D'Cruz craft teacher, Ms. Meena Fernandes Std IV,  Ms Nergish Hindi teacher, Ms Florinda Periera std VIII class teacher. Among male teachers Mr. Sharma, Mr. Panday, Fr. Vincent Vaz and Mr. Charles Farro, Mr. Thomas all became my teachers of whom I had form memories. Principle Joe Aranha and Juan Pedro of St Mary's and Fr. Boniface D'souza and Bro. Joe Braganza were names who I recollect. 

Coming back to the year 1979, I joined Grant Medical College after an unremarkable and indifferent junior college two years at JaiHind College at Churchgate. Suddenly, my world changed and from a batch of 50 or more students in one class I met 200. The mix was diverse and as varied as can be and the maze I navigated was an unprecedented mix. We were tossed about like ingredients of a Bhel Puri and try as we might to seek out persons who were like us we were pushed to meet and interact with people who were very different and life changed dramatically. Well I do not know or quite remember who my first friend was but there were pretty girls and guys of all kinds. Lata Lulla was an familiar face from JaiHind college, then there was one fat extroverted guy who literally seemed to dominate the medical discourse by virtue of him being a doctors son who seemed to understand something in Anatomy. All of us seemed a bit clueless and overwhelmed by the experience of early medical college days. He was Dhairya and was quickly named Jadia (fatso) and since he knew more than the rest we were ready to be lead by him. His friend was Amish Dalal, handsome dude fair guy with grey eyes looked like a Roman God. He too has some medical credentials. Then there was an earnest bespectacled guy Jigishu Divatia who had become famous as the guy who chose to join Grant Medical College as his first choice unlike all of us who were left overs or kachra from the 79'ers batch of 12 standard junior college merit list guys. The story of his admission of calling the dean of JJ Dr. Anjaneyulu who was probably home little expecting to be disturbed so early became folklore in medical circles. Then there was Satyajit my Bengali hot head friend from school days who came from Xaviers college. He along with a few friends, Dhairya, Shruti and George were part of the gang who were escaping ragging by making a dash from anatomy hall to limited bus stops opposite JJ. There was no flyover and the area below the present flyover was the unseen Mohammad Ali roar to Byculla stretch via JJ. We used to be ragged and from these ragging elements we got to know the only sardarji Opkar Singh Chawla who quickly got nicknamed Surd. I really do not know how and when this circle expanded especially the girls and soon we had the relatively pretty and bold girls becoming friends Nina Sheth nicknamed Nina pretty ballerina after the Abba song, the quiet but intelligent Roopa, pretty but a bit innocent and slightly foolish Nita Patel, tall Shruti joined the gang. In all this mix came an odd man Prakash a Bihari boy with a very different appeal who became the Cassanova of the batch attracting girls but became a close buddy. In this first year this mix became the main mix of friends who were still mainly english speaking non vernacular part of the familiar bubble of elites. So we were nicknamed by the rest "Pseudo" gang. While I was the non drinking teetotaler, I was the non veg foodie fond of belonging to this gang, who hung out and saw English Matinee show movies and bunked class together but were wanting to be serious about our studies too. Three more friend became part of this mix and while I will add the names I do not know how they became my friends they were Madhav Nagarkar, George Phillips and Shabbir Poonawalla. Madhav was an enigmatic different personality, a genius talented but lazy learner, George the warm but slow learner a bit vulnerable but fine friend and Shabbir the effervescent witty Bohri Muslim friend, pretty cool happy guy.  August Melodies and staying overnight in RM Bhatt hostel led to more familiarities and friendships and two new friends stood out both very clever and toppers but from Gujarati and Marathi medium background Sanjay Shah and Sudhir Sane. Despite their seeming lack of proficiency in English their bold approach and hard work made them stand out and on a personal level made me realize the false superiority complex we convent educated English medium students possessed. Also, the controversial debates about Gandhi, Godse and caste and religion divides came to the fore. We had this kind of clear division of the reserved vs non reserved students started rearing its head especially based on the politics and college election days where the voting was polarized on these lines. One more friend got added was Rajeev Datta who was a tall but different person warm affectionate. Then there was my quiet friend Sanjay Jain who was one role number ahead of me and by virtue of having handwriting worst than mine negated the disadvantage I had of poor handwriting.

As the years rolled by this circle expanded and as I came more and more out of the eilist pseudo bubble the friend circle expanded to this huge gang of Tushar Rege and his circle which included Sushil Sabnis, Yojana Nalawde, Divya Shah, Balwant Mistry, Hina Botadra, Amul and many others. Rajesh Bhangle, Milind Chitale and Kamlesh Shah. Kamal Chandani from Ulhasnagar, Vivek Joshi and Qazi from Bhiwandi, Ganesh Nath, Anil Markan and people like Paresh Choksi added to this ever expanding circle. Four girls who became special friends were Sakina Khan who many of my well wishers tried to pair me with, Mona Patel, Bindu and Mini Khetarpal. Kamal Chandani my hostel friend who was as cool as a cucumber during exams was a very caring soul too.

College days were marked by special memories of the movies we saw together, the classes we bunked, the highs and lows of exams, the fun and games of August melodies, the victories of GMC over GS and TNMC in sports, like Badminton, Cricket Table Tennis etc. The mass protests against capitation fee colleges, the strike and Rasta Roko agitation which brought out a mob mentality among us. The hard knocks of betrayal by pro bono lawyers in the face of the powerful political forces who changed the face of medical education forever. These were abiding memories. The romantic pairing and unpairing among our classmates and how we made and unmade relationships. Also the experience of exams with their triumphs and heartbreaks were memories which were unforgettable. I distinctly remember one exam where we put an alarm to get up to study and we overslept in the confusion of a button Auto vs On. These things come back as part of memories and consciousness. They were lived experiences and unforgettable too. I am certain I have missed many names and memories and I will happy if my friends jog my memory of the days gone by. Prakash, Surd and me became close friends with special bonds which I really do not know how to describe. One important aspect of our lives were the times we spent watching sports action on colour TV which had just been introduced in India. We watched football cricket and tennis and my mother treated friends to sumptuous snack which were very tasty.   

Then came the phase of post graduation where we went different ways and carved out different paths only to be reunited almost 10 years back by technology through WhatsApp thanks to Sajid Shaikh and suddenly many newer friends sprung up. In this Leena Ranade, Anuradha Shah, Anu, Prashant, Pradeep Kulkarni, my dearest friend Prakash. The polarization of the politics of hatred and my no love lost for our PM threatened at times the bonds of friendship but did not break them. We still fight but we learn to agree to disagree and find common ground. Even as I write today America has elected a new President and there is political discussion on the group. Life goes on and as this Diwali gets over and the new year dawns I look forward to my visit to the 45th reunion of friends at Alibaug. It will a raucous party but I for one will like a cosy conversation and a sharing of a life and some old memories. The last get together I did not go and am full of regret as three friends Prakash, Dhairya and Anil are now no more and I wish I had met them. So I think I will live and meet them as though I am meeting them for one last time. I will learn from their lives and experiences as though life will never end. 

Vispi Jokhi