My Mother Piroja H. Jokhi : A life Well lived!!!

 A long life innings came to a relatively peaceful end on August 16, 2024 at the age of 98. Sadly, her last few months and years were painful as  dementia had set in. However, my sister her daughter and caregivers looked after her very well and facilitated a dignified end to her mortal life. The following verses from the Gita make me come to terms with the fact that physically she is no more. The real Self of my mother is alive and eternal and will never cease to exist. As I reflect on her long life I have the difficult task of putting in a few words a lifetime of experiences and also try and bring out the essence of her personality. 

https://www.bmcm.org/inspiration/passages/what-real-never-ceases/

               

What is real never ceases to be.
The unreal never is. The sages
Who realize the Self know the secret
Of what is and what is not.

Even as we cast off worn-out garments
And put on new ones, so casts off the Self
A worn-out body and enters into
Another that is new.

Let me do this by briefly talking of her roles as Mother and Family matriarch, Teacher and role in J B Vatcha school, Businesswomen and Entrpeurner, Public Life citizenship and reformer, 

The article in Parsiana https://pirojasreflections.wordpress.com/2019/05/07/piroja-jokhi-rebel-with-a-cause/ the link of which I share captures a lot about my mother in her own words. 

For me her son she loved me to a fault and could like most mothers be blind to my deficiencies. However, to both of us children she instilled values of integrity and generosity. Our parents sacrificed a comfortable life in Gujarat to settle in Mumbai, to enable us to get a good education and bright future which resulted in my sister being a retired Chartered Accountant from Godrej Enterprises group and I becoming a doctor Orthopedic surgeon and presently the Chief Cultural Officer of Masina Hospital. To her grandchildren she was a huge influence. She was guide and friend to my nephew Kayzad with whom she had long conversations and debates. With Delna they both shared a bond of love which remained till the last and will remain forever. For both of her grand children she was Mamaiji and Pila her pet name. Many of my cousins saw in her a mother figure and an inspiration. They have in the last few days expressed these feelings which make me understand how much greater her impact was than I imagined. To her daughter-in-law she became a mother and she listened to her more than me. She also was a Mamaiji to nephews wife Natasha and a loving great grand mother to Ariana with whom she could play in the end. My Dad Homi and her shared a partnership of a kind where the intelligence and hard work combined to convert many an idea into successful business ventures. She was a very hard worker and an amazing cook dishing out delicacies like a magician. 

She had a very long innings as a teacher in J B Vatcha school and and the story of her learning and excelling in Hindi to enable her to get this job is a testimony to her tenacity and determination to turn adversity to opportunity. Even in school she was unwilling to rest contented and started giving Tuitions in the evening and conducting school tours in summer and Diwali vacations. These served the dual purpose of giving extra income to the family and for us children a travel and life experience. As if this was not enough she ran a school canteen even as she retired as a teacher in J B Vatcha school. Countless students and colleagues have fond memories of these days and have been sharing their experiences with me of the personal touch in these ventures. Unfortunately, she was not in a position to be part of the centenary celebrations in June 2024. 

Our family were the pioneers of Cable TV way back in the 1980's and Jokhi cables remained a household name. From the simple cable wired connections when selected movies were played on VCR and transmitted via wires, splitters and amplifiers to later Satellite TV and finally Internet Broad Band and present day, Jokhi cables remained a relevant business till a few years back. These were bold ventures attempted by her without a business qualification or background. She ran it in her own unique style using native wisdom and embracing technology too, albeit partly with reluctance. Her example led to one of her nephews reach unprecedented business achievement which he readily acknowledges to this day.  

In the last few decades of her life she started expressing her views on a large number of subjects relating to Religion, Community issues, National issues, Spirituality among other subjects. Some of these are available in this site https://pirojasreflections.wordpress.com/ 

She wrote boldy and tried to derive from first principles, research and life experiences viewpoints which were radical and reformist. She was posing questions and offering practical solutions on many vexed issues. She was fearless and in these faced criticism from her detractors. She took on the high and mighty in the community and sometimes faced some harsh abusive language, but it never acted as a deterrent. Her thoughts on disposal of the body after death created a storm in the community but resulted in catalyzing some reforms which to this day are a work in progress. As family we respected her final wish to give of herself in death as she gave during life. We have donated her frail body the worn out and used garment she shed to the cause of medical education and research. As in life so in death this act may stir up a controversy, but we are of the firm conviction that we as family have done our duty towards her and I am sure that more families may be inspired to follow suit. 

I have tried to capture the essence of her life in these few words but I do believe the fragrance of her existence will transcend time space. I wish to end by bowing to my parents and rather than mourning, celebrating  their life. I am grateful for the fact that the divine powers ordained that I got such great parents to whom I owe all that I am today. Also, I pray that I may at the end of my life prove worthy of the legacy they leave behind in this world. 

Dr. Vispi Jokhi